This time next week, I will celebrate two milestones. The release of my 8th novel "Happily Forever After" and my three year publishing anniversary. Three years? seriously? How did I get here? It's a question I ask myself over and over again, and sometimes cry when the answer hits me.
In recent years, I have had to get through some difficult personal losses in my life. I thought losing my parents was probably the hardest event in my life I could ever get through, but then the unthinkable happened, my eldest sister, Jeanie past away suddenly with Leukemia. It was the biggest shock of our lives hearing she was sick. With Jeanie's loss, I suffered one more that nearly destroyed me. I don't really like to talk about it, and only a small number of people know the story. With losing Jeanie to a cancer none of us saw coming, I then lost another person in my life, my sister Cathy. It has been seven years since I have heard her voice, or have seen her face. Seven years since I have hugged her and told her that I loved her. We had something between us that I believed was special and lasting, but I was wrong. A bigger power broke us, and with all the pain I went through, I have remained on the sidelines and choose to love her from a distance.
With all my writing accomplishments, not a day goes by that I don't long to share my happiness with my sisters, but that is a dream that is long gone. I can only hope that Jeanie is watching me from heaven and is smiling down on me. As for Cathy, I hope she is happy in her life.
This post was not meant to be sad, so don't be. I like to take time to always reflect where I have been and where I am going. We only have a short time in this world. I try to make the most out of every single day God has given me. I fill my life with my family, friends, and so many things that make me smile.
Losing my sister was so profound, that on some days I didn't believe I could move forward. I wanted her back with me, and with all who loved her. I wanted my daily 8:30 morning call with her again. I wanted her with me at my first book signing, I wanted my sister. It took getting through the anger, pain, and regret to get me where I am today.
I am a romance novelist at 45 years old. Yeah, I still pinch myself. I have seven published novels under my name, and soon number eight. I certainly cannot predict the future and I am done agonizing over the past. What I have is today, and I can tell you my friends how happy I am to be on this journey, and sharing it with you.
Thank you for taking the ride with me. I hope to bring you many more book boyfriends to swoon over in the coming years. You never forget your beginning. It's the unknown. The middle is filled with highs and lows, and so much joy in between. The ending? I'm not there yet, not by a long shot. We will just have to put that on hold and see where life takes me next.
With love,
Mary
